How NOT To Prepare For Skydiving

Monday, April 22, 2019

Looking for skydiving tips? Sure, first time skydiving tips abound, but let’s be real. Here’s the best first time skydiving advice you’re ever going to get, dear reader: a thorough rundown of the ways NOT to prepare for skydiving. From what to eat before skydiving to the skydiving safety tips you might not have in your arsenal (yet), the bases will be totally covered. We promise it’ll help!

1. DON’T do your homework.

Surprise! Skydiving dropzones are different. Do you want to know what to expect when skydiving at the one closest to you? For heaven’s sake, don’t take a few minutes to read other peoples’ reviews. They might reveal to you that the unprofessionalism you’re about to experience is totally normal – and that other places blow their customer service experience out of the water — and why the heck would you want to know that?

You also don’t want to find out whether or not the dropzone you’re looking at is a United States Parachute Association affiliate. After all, USPA-affiliated dropzones all over the world follow a certain set of guidelines for safety and professionalism that keep tandem students safer, but things like tandem skydiving safety and regulation are, like, so boring. Yawn.


2. DON’T eat and drink properly.

Skydiving on an empty stomach is no fun, and neither is skydiving on a full stomach, but having the maximum amount of fun on your tandem skydiving adventure isn’t something you particularly care about, right? Might as well be hangry and/or stuffed. Also: being prepared for a wait (or a snack attack) by bringing some healthy snacks is for nerds.

3. DON’T sleep the previous night

Again, you’re not all that interested in having an awesome time on your skydive, right? So being super-sleepy and kinda halfway-there in the head on one for the most incredible stunts you’ve ever pulled off won’t disappoint you.
Don't dress for success

4. DON’T dress for success.

Wearing close-fitting layers that you can add and subtract when you need to is definitely the smartest way to approach dressing for skydiving, as these layers tidily fit under a skydiving jumpsuit and provide the most flexibility and comfort. That said, wearing loose-fitting clothes that don’t cover your skin looks hilarious in skydiving photos, wearing clothes that don’t flex with the athletic movements of a skydive will only bother you for the most important five minutes of your life, and losing your jewelry makes for an interesting story at a dinner party.

How NOT To Prepare For Skydiving

6. DON’T get the photos and the video

No matter how many times you skydive after your first time, one thing is absolutely, irrefutably true: there will no moment like that first skydive, ever again. If you get the photos and the video, you can look back on that version of yourself in the plane and see that terrified face with the life that was about to change – but if you don’t, there’ll be no video to smile at, and you won’t be able to prove without a shadow of a doubt that you actually made a skydive, and you won’t be able to share it with your friends and family, and your memory might fade. No big deal, right?

7. DON’T breathe.

Okay, that is TERRIBLE advice.

Breathe. Breathe deeply and often. Breathe from the moment you land at the dropzone all the way to your hootin’, hollerin’ landing. While you do, repeat to yourself: I’m not the first to be scared, and I won’t be the last. Skydiving will remind you why you breathe: to live as wildly and fully as you possibly can, and that’s the most courageous act you can undertake to do.

Catch our meaning, y’all? Now that you know how to prepare for skydiving, are you ready to give it a try? Book a tandem skydive with the team at Skydive Monroe.

How NOT To Prepare For Skydiving